Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Things I have learned
Last night, I learned that sleeping pills do not always work. Three hours after taking this little gem, I was wide awake. Not that I am complaining, as I have been in a pretty big funk for the past two weeks. Shotgun blast headaches, dizziness, facial numbness and pressure, lack of energy and mental clarity, and a whole lot of attempts at sleeping. Usually, when I finally doze off and begin to pull out an abacus to count sheep, the phone rings, or Douglas will need to "pee-pee or poo-poo", or the clothes dryer will buzz, or our neurotic cat will find something that makes all kinds of infernal noise.
But this morning I woke up around 2am, with words and thoughts moving around in my head. So, I decided to capitalize on this while it lasts.
I have learned a few things while in my vegetative state. Television really sucks, and advertisements follow suit. Infomercials are driving me mad. As I channel flip, it seems that no matter the time of day or night, someone is trying to sell me something. Ponder on this question..."Is your colon the key to health and vitality?"
Hmmm, I guess I haven't given that much thought to that question. Mr. Colon man, feel free(or maybe not) to enlighten me!
So, during my hiatus, I have learned several key things...not all from the colon man:
1-I have enough fecal matter backed up in my colon to form adobe houses for an eskimo reservation.
2-If I buy his product..Stuff will happen.
3- Miami and Florida State have the Best Defenses ever, or possibly the worst offensive coordinators to call a game.
4-Tiger Woods would beat me in Putt-Putt, with a broomstick, blindfolded.
5-Odds of Douglas kicking me in the groin during a nap...75%, if in the same bed 95%.
6-God wants me to be fat, of course it could be the fecal matter, but I blame it on the steroids.
7-I don't miss work. I miss several friends, conversations, laughter at idiocy, and Subway, but not my job.
8-I miss driving my car. It has been almost 2 weeks now since my episode at work. Sarah is not to keen on me operating a vehicle. My convertible misses me, especially on the days in the 70's.
9-I have learned that I miss having emotion. I have been zombieesque. I have not wanted to talk, relate, or deal with people. Sarah has enjoyed my lack of mental capacity and verbiage. I was starting to think that I may have been mildly depressed, but it was probably from the meds. As you can see, I appear to be emoting quite well.
10-Due to Thunderstorms, Douglas slept with us last night. About 3am he laughed out loud in his sleep. I wondered what he was dreaming about? A movie, a friend, a Romanian visitor, being tickled? Fearing the laughter would be followed by a groin kick, I got up, made coffee and began to type.
Laughter has healing powers, I do believe, and maybe, just maybe God laughs at us, and for us.
But this morning I woke up around 2am, with words and thoughts moving around in my head. So, I decided to capitalize on this while it lasts.
I have learned a few things while in my vegetative state. Television really sucks, and advertisements follow suit. Infomercials are driving me mad. As I channel flip, it seems that no matter the time of day or night, someone is trying to sell me something. Ponder on this question..."Is your colon the key to health and vitality?"
Hmmm, I guess I haven't given that much thought to that question. Mr. Colon man, feel free(or maybe not) to enlighten me!
So, during my hiatus, I have learned several key things...not all from the colon man:
1-I have enough fecal matter backed up in my colon to form adobe houses for an eskimo reservation.
2-If I buy his product..Stuff will happen.
3- Miami and Florida State have the Best Defenses ever, or possibly the worst offensive coordinators to call a game.
4-Tiger Woods would beat me in Putt-Putt, with a broomstick, blindfolded.
5-Odds of Douglas kicking me in the groin during a nap...75%, if in the same bed 95%.
6-God wants me to be fat, of course it could be the fecal matter, but I blame it on the steroids.
7-I don't miss work. I miss several friends, conversations, laughter at idiocy, and Subway, but not my job.
8-I miss driving my car. It has been almost 2 weeks now since my episode at work. Sarah is not to keen on me operating a vehicle. My convertible misses me, especially on the days in the 70's.
9-I have learned that I miss having emotion. I have been zombieesque. I have not wanted to talk, relate, or deal with people. Sarah has enjoyed my lack of mental capacity and verbiage. I was starting to think that I may have been mildly depressed, but it was probably from the meds. As you can see, I appear to be emoting quite well.
10-Due to Thunderstorms, Douglas slept with us last night. About 3am he laughed out loud in his sleep. I wondered what he was dreaming about? A movie, a friend, a Romanian visitor, being tickled? Fearing the laughter would be followed by a groin kick, I got up, made coffee and began to type.
Laughter has healing powers, I do believe, and maybe, just maybe God laughs at us, and for us.
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