The Follies of a Foley

The catheter was removed today. I am gradually getting more comfortable (odd word choice) with the process. Our bodies are all "fearfully and wonderfully made," at least that is the way the KJV puts it, and mine is closer to the fearful than the wonderful. Of all the places in the world to have scar tissue build-up, I happen to have it in my urinary tract. So, I ask the urologist what causes such a thing, and he gave me several possibilities:

1-Rough Sex--For some reason, this is not the one I am leaning toward. Surely he was being a funny Urologist!

2-STD--Squeaky Clean here!

3-Trauma due to sports injury--Now were on to something!

4-Born that way--Maybe, but why would it first manifest itself at the age of 33?

So, I am leaning toward my days of umpiring baseball and the wildness of pitches coming from the arms of 12 year olds.

The bad news is that this procedure is repeated usually once a year.

This is the fourth time that this procedure had been performed.

The first time, the catheter was TOO WIDE. Very painful. Removal of the too wide catheter was even more painful.

Second time--Catheter was too small. Passed blood clots for three days. Removal was easy.

Third Time--Just like the three bears, "Just Right." I moved around a good bit and bled a fair amount. Removal was a cinch.

Fourth Time-No moving around, perfect fit, minimal bleeding. Had a scare this morning though. When the nurse attempted to drain the water out of the balloon that holds the catheter in the bladder, the water did not come out as it normally does. Usually it is a pull of the plunger and the bulb deflates and "out comes the catheter." Today a few drops would come out and then she would start over and then a few drops more. Viewing this from above, I had way too much time to think. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, as I envisioned the outcome of a partially deflated balloon being pulled through the place where a partially deflated balloon should not come. I took a deep breath, the nurse made a deep pull, and no reconstructive surgery was needed. All is Well!!

Although she made numerous threats to yank my catheter while I was down, Sarah was a very good nurse.

So, gentlemen..."Be nice to the wife, you never know when you may be in a situation where she has the upper hand. Oh, never mind, they always have the upper hand."